At times i ask myself: What does it mean to be a REAL man?? What makes a man? Is it the size of my bank balance? Or maybe its the number of fingers, toes & teeth i use when trying to count all the women i bed every year?
I "observe" a lot of people randomly nje. What they do, what they say, choices they make, how they deal with situations etc. I believe that you can learn a lot about yourself from seeing other people being themselves....i hope that makes sense. Now as a guy, i look at my father, uncles, friends, taxi drivers, guys in a shopping mall or night club, i look at business people who i get into contact with, local politicians & church people etc.
It has come to my attention that men, and society in general, see no problem in the loss of integrity & promiscuity that happens so openly. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying i'm a saint here but i'm definitely not one to just "go with the flow". Young boys in schools find it "cool" that they have a handful of "birds" & have sex soon after their first wet dream! People in their twenties find it so normal when someone says: I just want a sex partner who won't "restrict" me from doing whatever i want, whenever i want!
I was once told that a man needs three things: MONEY....POWER....SEX
The three are interlinked & I don't not necessarily disagree with that statement BUT i do disagree with HOW men today deal with these 3 things in order to be perceived as REAL MEN!
Money
It makes the world go round! Everybody wants to have it in abundance, dont let them fool you. The Bible says "For the LOVE of money is the root to all kinds of evil" - 1 Tim 6:10. IT is not evil...but "the love" of it is what leads to evil.
Money has the ability to change the kindest & most humble man, into a arrogant chauvinist pig! Money will turn an intelligent young man with great potential, into a hardened criminal! Money will turn a church leader into a pyramid scheme master! Nowadays money even turns an airhead, pretty looking, twanging socialite into a politician! Once people see a sign that you have money, they literally come like a swarm of bees & suddenly you have new friends & family members. Nowadays, everybody is chasing quick wealth. We hustle, we gamble & play the Lotto, we give "under the table incentives" in order to get that tender, we pull here & push there. Sadly some guys forget to appreciate the freedom that money brings and the importance of learning to use it well & some end up losing it all....along with the friends and family it brought along. It goes without saying that most of the time this loss is ignited by those of the fairer sex....what with popular songs such as Gwen Guthrie's 'Nothing going on but the rent' , TLC's 'No Scrubs' or the aptly named Destiny's Child's 'Bills, Bills, Bills'. If don't have money, you might as well be blind, deaf, dumb & dead from the neck down.
Some guys will do a complete180-degree character u-turn once they get hold of a bit of wealth. A man will insult his own mother & tell his own father where to get off. A foolish man with money will often throw money at any problem he has believing that money will make up for the shortcomings of his character. A man will spend a lifetime chasing paper instead of having balance by spending time with his family being a father & husband. He will buy his wife the most expensive jewelry but never have time to have her dress up & take her out. He will take his kids to the most expensive schools but not have an hour to spare to help with the home work.
"Man make the nyuku.....Nyuku don't make the man" (A man should make money....Money shouldn't make a man)
Power
It is a well documented fact that POWER CORRUPTS!! But does it really have to be that way with every man who gets it? Intellects try to avoid it while demagogues do everything to get it.
Power will change an upright socialist into a greedy capitalist. A man will use platforms he is given to stir up peoples emotions so that he gets them eating from the palm of his hand. We see it everyday in our country! A good community leader with good intentions, will be voted into a position of power to bring positive changes to benefit all the people who have entrusted him with this authority because of his integrity. This same person would then be approached by unethical business bastards and make him offers he "can not refuse". Because of his power to convince members of the community into doing almost anything, they will offer a Councillor, induna, even the local CPF chair, some money or anything of material value to sway the people into endorsing projects that will not benefit them in any way! Because a community leader would have the "power of attorney" within the area, he will be offered a Nandos meal with an envelope "under the table", livestock, a car, flat screen TV's etc to turn a blind eye to corrupt dealings by certain companies.
With power in his hands, a man will forget promises he made to the people that put him up on that pedestal and he will focus on raking in as much wealth as he can until the time comes for the next elections! With power, a man will tell his closest friends & colleagues that: I have made you & i will break you. He will even go on to destroy someones livelihood just to set an example & prove his point, not thinking about the families or children of his victims! Power makes a foolish man throw integrity out of the window. He will no longer care what people say (need) or want as long as his "inner
Being human beings that we are, some will heed to the calls to misuse their power to benefit a few instead of all the people. Our communities are controlled by selfish business people who offer "generous gifts" to the leaders with power. Its a sad trend that is growing from the Top-Down and IT MUST STOP before we ruin this great country of ours.
Greed is one sickness that is destroying us. Have integrity. The Bible says: "be faithful and honest in all your dealings, and let it be a pleasure to you to do so. Though thereby you come short of the gains others get dishonestly and as much as in you lies, live peaceably with all men."
I like the LeadSA intro on Talk Radio 702 (online): Stand up for the law. Stand up for Decency. Stand up for Compassion. Stand up for Respect. Stand up for your Community. Stand up for your Future. Stand up for South Africa.
SEX
*wheeeuuw*
As i said earlier, I am by all means NOT a saint. We all make mistakes, learn from them and it allows us to grow into better men & help prevent our children from making similar mistakes. I do however know when something is right or when its wrong! Sex is powerful. It is not about any birds or bees. As enjoyable as it is....It is serious!
Society has created the concept that the more women you sleep with, the better man you are than an "idiot" who is "stuck with one option". Its an open secret the sex has promoted many women into positions of corporate & political power and in the same breathe, it has embarrassed and brought many powerful & wealthy men to their knees. Presidents have been brought down by their sex scandals that are exposed in public. In some instances, it is rumored that the competition or opposition would create a conspiracy by paying a woman to seduce a (married) man in power in order to blackmail or remove him from his position. These women don't exactly forcefully rape these men though....right? Our weaknesses become quite evident.
Growing up i always heard that men are "hunter gatherers" or in Sesotho they would say: Monna ke mokopu, wa ata. (A man is like planted pumpkin, it spreads out far & wide and doesn't grow in one spot). Our African men will even go as far as saying that monogamy is a foreign concept brought by the white man, that we are polygamous by nature. Fair enough, even certain characters in the Bible practiced polygamy. I do not even want to use the Bible as reference for my argument. My view is that in this day & age, of HIV, STI's & AIDS, how do we turn a blind eye to the extent that it is spreading on our continent? How does a man risk his own life by bedding different women every weekend? Some even still go back home to their wives. Are being smart or are we men THAT weak?? Can we really not resist female temptation so much even though it might destroy lives, reputations & legacies?
I have one particular friend who will sleep with anything anyone that walks and is willing. He literally DOES NOT CARE what shape the woman is in, where she comes from, WHO she really is, is she clean etc NONE of that!! He just wants to "bust a nut" and move on. "Afterall kuku ke kuku." Sadly though his colleagues don't really take him seriously because of this. If a female colleague is feeling down and unwanted, they know that all that should be done is walk to so-and-so's office, show some skin then watch him pant like a malnourished pitbull, then the woman can walk out with the confidence that she still has "it". Spending time with people like that has opened my eyes to the ills of society. A man will do almost anything and to satisfy is sexual urges, even leave his wife and kids, drive to a brothel or corner prostitute, have sex and go back home to kiss everyone goodnight. Until he is caught, he will live that promiscuous life with a sick sense of pride. Not seeing that his teenage son isn't so blind and will go out and emulate daddy's actions with younger girls. And so the cycle continues generation after generation.
Then adults turn around and say the youth is lost or start pointing fingers when stats are exposed about the amount of sexually active underage children we have in SA. Or the number of teenage pregnancies there are in our schools. The moral decay we see is everybody's fault except our own. We make babies and run for dear life and laugh about it saying we did a Hit 'n Run. We spread diseases to our women who are trying to make homes out of the houses we leave them in. Men get to their 40's and 50's & run after girls young enough to be their children & grandchildren, they say they want "freedom" from nagging wives and kidz, some call it a mid-life crisis, just call it "acting a fool". Some sing along to lyrics like "Why does everything that's supposed to be wrong, make me feel so good" It doesn't get any more ridiculous
My idea of a real man is one that is weak enough to give into his wife/girlfriend/partner BUT still strong enough to resist temptation from other lusting females. A real man can figure out that him gaining riches alone is useless even if he builds high walls around his house, if there is sewage flowing down your street, the smell will hit you too. A man will know not to endorse that incompetent company so he can drive his Rolls Royce in streets with potholes. A real man won't misuse power, mislead people for his own gain. We are turning into men who lack "manly" character....weak men...irresponsible men. We sell out our souls, relationships & even our communities! We are turning into men who are serial cheaters and proud. Is it right though?? Nobody is perfect....but screw the flow....I'm doing things the way i see right!
I would say a man needs only 3 things: RESPONSIBILITY.... INTEGRITY.... FAITHFULNESS
KevCare
Off the dome....through my heart....to my fingers
My fingers will point at me!!
My fingers will point at me!!
Hey, this is Ernest Ezenna... I saw you had written something on the 'top 10 leaders of Africa', and wanted to know if we have met. If so, when and where? I'm trying to recall our chat. Let me know.
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